Eli, The Barrow Boy by The Decemberists is my new favorite song.
Some guy seemed to have gotten the meaning close to what I thought it meant, here’s what he said:
"Eli was a poor man obsessed with a woman who refused to be with him on account of his poverty.
Driven mad by her cold-hearted practicality of not wanting to marry a barrow boy salesman he kills and buries her in a pine grove.
After the madness fades he realizes what he has done and decides to kill himself so that he will have a second chance to be with her in the afterlife.
Alas for poor Eli, he has committed both murder and suicide. He may be buried in a churchyard but now he is pushing his wheelbarrow in hell, forever separated from his love who is presumably in heaven.”
Check it, yo.
I just got back from watching Paranormal Activity III. That was some scary shit.
I was invited to go to Kelli’s afterward, but my mind wouldn’t let me go. Things are drastically different between Kelli and I now.
I exchanged two text messages to Zayne today. He finally came back around five in the morning, then took me home. He didn’t talk to me the whole ride back. I don’t even know what to do.
I have such strong feelings for someone else, but they won’t be with me. I’ve never felt this way about anybody. Every time I look at him I smile, heart slowing. I’m in love with him, but he can’t love me back.
I keep trying to force myself to move on from him. It’s horribly unfair to Zayne. I could love Zayne, eventually.
I wish people could see into my mind, to know what to say to me.
A cop cut me off tonight, so I got on his ass, I’m not afraid to tailgate a cop. He stood on his brakes, so I swerved around him then merged in front of him. Went the exact speed limit the rest of the way right in front of him. Whenever he tried to merge to pass, I merged in front of him. Fuck that pork sandwich.
Didn’t get a ticket, surprisingly. I was willing to take one, just to piss him off.
I’m tired, and really really sad. I’m going to bed.